Showing posts with label going on a date. Show all posts
Showing posts with label going on a date. Show all posts

If You Keep Dating THESE Types Of Guys, You’ll Be Single FOREVER


Your future happiness is in YOUR hands.

Do you want to date a partner that sticks around, rubs his hands through your hair and loves you right because it makes him feel like a king? I hope so. Do you want someone to hold you tight in his arms every single night just because he wants to? Can I get a hell yeah!?

If you want a man like this (yes, they do exist!), stop what you're doing right now, and listen.

Stop dating and waiting around for unavailable men. That's it.

After all, not all men are cheaters or purposely set on hurting you, so make sure the man you're chasing is worth it and not one of these emotionally or physically unavailable guys.

First, don't waste your time on PHYSICALLY unavailable men. 

The physically unavailable man is, well … not in your vicinity or in your life, so there's that. I’m not against long-distance relationships at all, but if the man you love lives in a different country (or even a different state) and you are living paycheck to paycheck, it can make seeing each other almost impossible.

This 3000-mile-away guy might be the man of your dreams … but in reality, he is only your fantasy.

If the two of you never plan date number two (or never even HAVE date number one), he is what I call, a "cyber soul mate" — so unless you want to spend the rest of your life cuddling with a body pillow and Skyping with the man of your dreams, you better keep on looking.

Then, know how to spot a man that is EMOTIONALLY unavailable.

"What do they look like," you ask? They look like normal guys. They look like your neighbor. They could look like Burt Reynolds, your UPS guy, or the smoking hot dude from Tinder.

BUT, here are 10 surefire ways you CAN spot an emotionally unavailable man — so you can cut your losses early before you and your heart gets all wrapped up in his thrill seeking, heat seeking, um, body parts:


1. He stands you up.
This is one is easier to spot than an albino tiger in the wild, and I know it hurts. But be thankful that he did it on your first date and not when you're waiting at the altar.

2. He is full of excuses.
“Oh sorry. I was really busy,” is his typical response to your text message three days later. Seriously? Just let him be.

3. He says, “I’m not looking for anything right now.”
When he talks, you need to listen — and don't have a Hollywood script in your head that says, “Oh he’s going to want something serious he just doesn’t know me well enough yet. I just need to show him what he's missing out on!" Don’t play these games with yourself. At least he's being honest with you.

4. He doesn’t make plans to meet you.
Because he always has an excuse of being too busy with his daughter, is working too much, or that he had a stalker and is afraid to meet you. Either way, you want someone who takes time out of his day for you.

5. He is a master of seduction.
These men are hard to find, but when you find one, it is like your pants seem to fall off — like magic ... maybe even a little too quickly for your normal comfort level. If you are worried about this happening with Mr. Smooth, follow these three steps:

DO NOT do ANY bikini maintenance.

DO NOT shave your legs.

DO wear your period underwear.

These methods are as good as wearing an uncomfortable, and very effective, chastity belt. If he sticks around without the sex, maybe he's not so unavailable after all, right?

6. He has a bad temper.
He is rude to servers, talks bad about his ex and is bad mannered in your presence. If someone is like this from the get-go, run for your emotional life before he crushes your heart with his mean-spirited demeanor.

7. A man who is on his phone constantly on your date.
This is a huge indicator that his mind is somewhere else. Those Facebook status updates can wait, and he can wait for the next victim (not you).

8. He thinks only about his wants and needs, and not yours.
This is NO fun and you will end up being a doormat. Cut him loose while you still have your self-esteem intact.


9. They have had many short-term relationships in the recent past.
Sally, two weeks ago, Monica, last month ... it's a pattern that's not likely to stop at you. Be careful with someone who is a serial dater.

10. You just KNOW it.
You have a funny feeling. Your belly feels weird. The hairs stand up on your arms. You feel a tingling in your left pinkie. Whatever it is ... LISTEN to yourself. Most of the time you're right.

When you are dating, keep you heart open and appreciate Mr. Unavailable, because he is doing you a favor to give you more experience. Leave yourself open to meet Mr. Emotionally and Physically Available, and you will thank yourself for seeing the signs of an emotionally unavailable man early on.

10 Ways The RIGHT Person Will Love You


Real love is unconditional.

My husband and I are high school sweethearts. We've been together for 22 years, and married for 14. Some might say we're total opposites. He's lively and outgoing; I'm quiet, a pretty classic introvert.

Our relationship isn't perfect. We fight over little things sometimes. I wish with all my heart that he would remember to take out the trash without constant reminders. He wishes I would stop with the constant nitpicking. Our fights can get heated, especially when we're tired and overwhelmed with work, life, and kids.

Most of the time, though, we really enjoy each other. We have a lot of common interests and really good chemistry. We have a commitment to work through our disagreements, and to find a way to understandd one another. But what holds us together — and what has contributed most to the longevity of our relationship — is the way we love each other. Our love has always been unabashed, plentiful, and real.

But it's not just the love you feel — it's the openness with which you share it, and in what ways you show up to express it. Here are ten ways you can tell that you have found someone who really knows how to love you.

1. They will love you without condition.

Real love comes without any expectations. You don't have anything to prove, nothing to win. Yes, at the beginning of a love affair, you're trying to entice and impress each other, but as time goes on there's no need to perform in order to make love last.

2. They will listen — really listen.

This is a big one. Real listening means that you throw your own agenda out the window and really absorb what the person is saying, without judgment. It's not always easy to do, but truly loving someone means being able to be there for them through thick and thin, and being a good, empathetic confidant.

3. They will love you for who you are, not an idealized version of what they want a partner to be.

The day I realized that my husband will never remember to do certain things without a reminder or two (or three), I felt my love deepen for him a little. It sounds counter-intuitive, but when I realized that I couldn't change him — and just needed to find a way to work with who he was — I could appreciate all the things he could do for me and our family. It helps that he will happily do housework, but just can't remember to do it on his own.

4. They will give you space.

At the beginning of a relationship, it's normal to be inseparable, to want to do every last thing together. But there comes a point where each partner needs some space. When and how this happens varies from person to person and one relationship to another.

But since real love means letting your partner be his or herself, you need to respect your partner's need for independence and the autonomy to sometimes do things without you.

5. They will fight for you.

When you're having a down-and-out day, your partner will be the first one to remind you how incredibly awesome you are. Your partner will be your biggest defender against conflicts with others. They will remind you of the strength you forgot you had, and give you the fighting words when you're too upset to find them yourself.

6. They will hang on during the storms.

Conflicts in relationships are natural, but when left to fester they can destroy relationships. Fighting is normal, and healthy. Fights are opportunities to work through stuff. But someone who truly loves you will never stay angry. He or she will work through the anger to get to the other side — that other side being a deeper understanding and mutual respect.

7. They will admit when they're being a jerk.

Someone who never admits when he or she has made a mistake isn't going to be able to love authentically. Loving means being vulnerable, and owning it when you've been a bona fide schmuck.

8. They will call you out on your bullsh*t.

My husband knows me well and isn't afraid to tell me when my “baggage” is rearing its ugly head. In the moment, I want to strangle him, but ultimately, I love him for calling me out on my crap (and, of course, loving me anyway).

9. They will make you feel beautiful.

In our 22 years together, we've gone from being fresh-faced teenagers to exhausted parents pushing 40. But I STILL can't change my clothes in front of my husband without him getting all oogly-eyed and silly. Now that's love.

10. They will make you feel safe.

It goes without saying that a partner who's physically or verbally abusive needs to be kicked to the curb. But all partners should give you a sense of safety. Usually it's a pretty intuitive thing. You just know when you can trust someone, and this is solidified when they demonstrate that trust to you throughout the relationship.

Finding someone who loves you doesn't mean your relationship will be without bumps. There are no perfect people or relationships — knowing and accepting that is half the battle.

What you need is a partner is who willing to try, who wants to make the effort to understand you, whose love is generous, demonstrated in concrete actions, and not just words or ideals. Once you've found that person, you'll know it in your bones. And you'll never let them go.

5 Way To Make Your Marriage Feel Like You're Still Dating


Whether you've been married six months or six years, you may be feeling something less than the head-over-heels infatuation you felt for your spouse when you were just dating. "It's difficult to keep a marriage going over the course of a long term," commiserates April Masini, relationship expert and advice columnist. But a lack of lust is something you can overcome — and even create. "Keeping your marriage hot increases your chances of keeping your relationship committed," she says. "Dating is what brought you to marriage, and so dating in marriage is important to keep the love alive and the commitment strong." Here's how to do just that.

1. Whisk your spouse out of the bedroom. 
Getting it on doesn't mean you're getting it good. "Sex has a habit of getting stale when you do it in the same place every time," Masini explains. So keep sex and your relationship fresh by breaking out of the bedroom. "Booking hotel room for a lunch break date or even a weekend getaway shakes up your romance in a very good way," says Masini, who adds that with each passing hour away from home you'll feel a revived interest in adventure and one another. "Something as simple as a new hotel room or a new city will give you both the opportunity to look at each other with new eyes."

2. Get your spouse a gift just because it's Thursday.
When you were first dating, it was likely nothing to drop your significant other a love note — or at least a love text. But as time went on, the habit of surprising one another may have faded away. It's time, Masini says, to work surprises back into your schedule. "Sending love notes, flowers and gifts shows your partner that you appreciate him or her and it's not just rote," Masini explains. "It also shakes him out of any rut your partner has been in, and he or she will feel appreciated and he likes and will want to make sure you do too."

3. Make a date for a date. 
Masini admits that it seems backwards to plan for romance, "because making and keeping a date night when you're married and busy may feel like a chore, which isn't how dating should feel." But wine in hand and excellent food in fork, "you'll relax into the date and feel like marriage is good because you can do this," she says. "It's easy get booked up with other obligations and lose that connection to your spouse, so it's essential to connect over the course of a long term marriage. Regular date nights will make you feel like you've got a schedule commitment and a love commitment that makes the schedule important and possible."

4. Flirt often. 
It may seem like your flirting phase has come and gone, but you can still tease and tempt your spouse. "Call your partner up during the day and talk sexy," suggests Masini. "Or compliment your partner by telling him or her how hot he or she is, what you like best about sex with him or her, and what you want to do with him or her later that evening." Not only will this back-and-forth banter give your spouse a confidence boost, but when you let your partner know how much he or she turns you on, "you're recreating that dating feeling and stimulating your marriage," Masini says.

5. Hold hands.
Says Masini, "Hand holding is one of the first shows of affection, and one of the first to be discarded when a relationship gets a little stale." Why? Masini believes it's easier for many couples to be together without connecting by hand, or any other way. "And yet there's nothing as pure and simple to show you're connected — to each other, yourself, and the world — than holding hands and strolling in the park, through the city, or on the beach," she says. "This will make you feel that rare combination of connected and unique because you're seeing the world through your own eyes, but that hand holding reminds you of what it was like to first connect in the most pure and simple and romantic way."

5 Reasons Why Dominant Women Are Often VERY Submissive In Bed


You can be a boss and STILL want to be dominated sexually.

Today's woman is a boss but can still have conflicting personality characteristics. One minute she's making tough decisions about her business, and the next, she's being completely open and vulnerable to a partner. Nobody is any one way; we're all made up of strengths and weakness, and it's empowering for a strong, dominant woman to express all aspects of herself, including her sexuality.

In a piece on Elite Daily, writer Zara Barrie talks about the modern woman.

"We are females who simultaneously own our strength and our vulnerability, our sensuality and our sexuality, our ferocity and our flaws. One of the most powerful acts of radicalness a woman can engage in is to feel confident in her sexual desire, regardless of how 'weird' or 'wrong' those fantasies are deemed by society."

It's not considered shocking when a powerful man wants to be dominated, so why is the reverse so surprising? If a dominant woman wants to be taken and dominated in the bedroom, it doesn't mean she isn't a feminist, or weak, or someone who has to depend on someone else.

Wanting to be dominated in the bedroom just means that may be what she likes or what she wants to explore. You can be sexually hardwired to respond to being tied up and spanked, and still be totally in control and badass in the real world. 

The need to be dominated and to dominate aren't mutually exclusive. Barrie wants women to be whatever they want without shame. "Those of us femme-fatales whose very existence is defined by our unyielding ability to dominate in the streets ... we are unexpectedly turned on by being submissive in the sheets."

Here's why a dominant woman is submissive when it comes to sex.

1. They find it appealing to be wanted and desired.

We want to be wanted. In an article on The Huffington Post, Rabbi Shmuley Boteach says, "Women want to hear more than anything: 'I desire you. I want to be physical with you. Your beauty is overwhelming to me. I cannot control myself around you. I find myself thinking about you constantly and I have to have you. I don't care what the consequences are.'"

2. They are with partners they trust completely. 

Barrie writes, "We can't play unless we're in a safe environment; we can't tap into our sexuality when we're being hurt or used. Our relationships are rooted in respect — if they weren't, then we wouldn't feel empowered by sexual dominance."

3. They are sex-positive, which means they don't have shame.

Trying new things sexually and exploring your fantasies is a healthy part of life. A study conducted by the University of Granada found that having sexual fantasies are extremely important in sexuality, and sexual fantasies can help with anxiety and improve one's sex life. Being able to freely talk about and act on a fantasy helps eliminate any negativity that might be associated with it.

4. They see a connection between creativity and sexuality.

Barrie writes, "We can't micro-manage or compartmentalize creativity. Once we are tapped into that side of ourselves, it overflows into all parts of our lives, sex included."

5. They find relief in relinquishing power.

Always being in control and powerful is exhausting, no matter how good at it you might be.

Barrie puts it best: "Sometimes, at the end of the day, we just want someone else to call the shots — to rip off our clothes with a reckless abandon and steer the ship."

10 Myths About Dating Older Women (Straight From The Cougar's Mouth)


Being a cougar isn't for the faint of heart ... or body.

I'm a card-carrying cougar. I have been a consistent member of the "Cougar Club" since my husband passed away. For nearly five years, I've been dating a man 15 years my junior.

The "Urban Dictionary" states: "Cougars are gaining in popularity — particularly the true hotties — as young men find not only a sexual high, but many times a chick with her shit together." I like to think of a cougar as a confident, independent, young-spirited woman who happens to prefer the company of younger men.

Here are 10 common myths about cougars in the dating world, and the REAL facts that totally debunk them:


1. A cougar is a hunter who preys on an innocent younger man.

Who hunts whom? Some guys are naturally drawn to older women like any other physical "type," such as preferring blondes to brunettes.

A cougar exudes self-confidence, which makes her a highly desirable conquest to a younger man. Often it's the younger man who approaches the older woman in hopes of a purely sexual, no-strings-attached relationship. Contrary to popular belief, the older woman isn't the predator — in fact, it's the quite opposite.

2. A relationship like that isn't viable — he'll cheat on her with someone his age. Look at Ashton and Demi!

Ashton and Demi's problems were less about the age difference and more about her insecurity and his infidelity. Demi Moore may have set the stage for the "Cougar Era", but her self-esteem issues were not consistent with those of the typical cougar. Ashton was unfaithful because he's a cheater, fair and square.

The older woman who attracts a younger man is young-spirited. She gets bored with older men who many times lose their "joie de vivre" as they age. She's independent and spontaneous, which fits well with an energetic younger guy. Cougars like their freedom, and younger men are more apt to be comfortable in a less traditional relationship. 

3. A younger man won't be able to maintain the interest of an older woman.

When I first started dating my boyfriend, I hated his taste in music. Now I only listen to indie-rock. And he's developed a taste for fine wine, since it's one of my passions.

Being open-minded about different tastes and interests is good for any relationship. Age has nothing to do with IQ score. Cougars have been known to stay up late at night chatting with their younger men about the meaning of life.

4. The younger man will ultimately want children and will dump the older woman who already has a brood.

This is an issue for any couple when one wants a child and the other doesn't. Having children isn't a priority for every man, and if he loves the woman, he may choose her over his need to procreate. He may be in a relationship with an older woman because women his age are listening to the ticking of their biological clocks.

In fact, many younger men gravitate to older women who won't pressure them to get married and have children.

5. A cougar won't fit into younger man's social circle or vice versa.

A couple may experience some negativity — especially in the initial stages of the relationship. I've personally been subject to a few snide comments such as: "Is that your son?" or "Dude, does she get a senior citizen rate at the movies?"

Like any atypical relationship, there will be people who support the couple's choices and those who put it down. The couple should be prepared to deal with everything from admiration to hostility from friends, acquaintances, and family.

6. A cougar is going to get old and become unattractive to the younger man.

Cougars keep physically fit and tend to look much younger than their actual age. Any woman will age over time — but probably not as gracefully as a cougar. She has the financial ability, motivation, and time to eat healthy and exercise.

If a man is in a relationship with an older woman, he's usually there because of her personality just as much as her looks.

7. An older woman will miss out on her "golden years" while he's establishing his career. 

The younger man has less baggage like an ex-wife and children. The older woman is independent and will find ways to keep herself entertained. She has her children and career to keep her busy.

8. A younger man finds women his age to be sexier. 

Men find cougars sexy regardless of their imperfections. They describe the older woman as more adventurous and experienced in bed. A cougar's energy is very alluring to the younger man. Sex is usually an area where this couple excels.

9. Kids will never accept the younger man dating their mother.

Eventually, children and parents of the couple will see the loving relationship, and respect the decision that the couple has made to be together. They will recognize that the couple deserves to be happy.

10. A relationship with a cougar isn't viable and won't last over time.

This has been proven wrong countless times. If the couple stays together for many years with the obstacles and stigma that society places on them, they are usually in a very strong deeply connected relationship.

11 Signs You’re Dating Your Soulmate



1. You’ve never dated anyone else before.

2. Your estimates for auto body work always come out to within $100 of each other.

3. Your names are Mom and Dad.

4. Your genitals make a loud hissing sound when you are in the same room.

5. Your combined bowling scores are always a perfect 300.

6. Neither of you think that the Oklahoma City bombing was a good thing.

7. Each time you make love, the elderly man next door nods in silent approval.

8. You’re on the FBI’s “Most In Love” watchlist.

9. Even though you have your disagreements, you’re always on the same page when it comes to killing your wealthy father-in-law.

10. You both believe rats are born when people leave out old rags.

11. They know the one thing to say that will hurt you more than anything else in the world.