If you’re lucky enough to date someone mixed from unusual ingredients, you can be sure of one thing: life will never be boring or uninspiring!
Yeah, we might be a little bit “crazy,” but once you get us and our sense of humor you’ll never want to let us go. Marching to the beat of our own drum (or bongos) is this involuntary reaction we have to life; we can’t help it.
We’re actually pretty sensitive and gooey underneath all our quirks, like Entenmann’s cookies…or something. Whatever, just read and get to know what you're getting yourself into before dating us, okay?
1. If you don’t know if we’re joking, it's safe to assume we are. The default mode of your phone is silent, and the default mode of my mouth is humorous (why so serious?).
2. We don’t enjoy typical dates, and we definitely hate small talk. So if you end up interviewing us we might tune out and politely nod and smile, which may give you a glimmer of false hope and slight letdown when we don’t return your calls, but you deserve it for boring us to death in public, right?
3. We will do random British accents, and impersonations. "Bugger off you Daft Cow!"
4. If you have “normal" friends we won’t want to hang out with them. Please don’t make us.
5. We’ll probably unintentionally charm you, but we’re not that endearing - we’re just weird.
6. Being at the hottest clubs with the “hottest” people on a Friday night is not for us. We don’t understand it. We want nothing to do with it.
7. Instead our dream relationship with you will consists of us laying on the couch watching movies for like, I don’t know, a week straight.
8. Sometimes we’ll be all weird with our phones. We screen our phone calls - even from our closest friends, listening to one thing and seeing something else is a lot of sensory
input piled on top of everything that's already going on our heads.
9. Yeah, we can be the life of the party when we go out, but if we don’t vibe with the crowd because they’re wack we're out - we can’t fake it.
10. Our dance style will range from "white dad at a barbecue" to "stripper whose rent is due tomorrow.”
11. And we will break out in random dance and song. (Why isn't this socially acceptable? For real...)
12. We can’t stand typical social gatherings like proms, dances... Super Bowl Sunday. We don’t really get these “rites of passages.”
13. You’ll probably be intimidated by us until we open our mouth.
14. We will make jokes in inappropriate situations. That doesn’t mean we’re insensitive, it’s quite the opposite. The only people who think otherwise are the people who don’t have a sense of humor. #TRUTH
15. If your friends are really serious and pretentious we will mess with them. Like cats with laser pointers. They're the cat and we’re the laser pointer.
16. We don't do drugs, we ARE drugs.